So Tonight That I Might See

I feel like it has been forever since I have posted. I left the office today wanting to do three things: write, run, and play (my guitar). I want to post events of the other days separately, just to keep things organized. New York has surprised me. It has surprised me because I haven't been as captivated by it this time. I haven't been as scared of it. I almost feel like I have become a part of it. I have already seen a huge difference in living versus visiting this place. You can see it on the faces of the people in the streets. I might even be starting to see it in my own, but I hope not.

Visitors and tourists are wide-eyed and curious about everything, just taking it all in. But when it comes down to living here - even with all the fascination around you - the day-in, day-out routine of it all is much like any other place except for the fact that you're in a big, dirty city with tall buildings, lots of people, and a subway. But really, work is work. If you're in a cubicle (or office, as is my case - woohoo!) on Seventh Avenue or on Bowerman Drive it doesn't make a whole lot of difference, because that is how you spend your life. The difference, I suppose, is when you step out of the office and explore the enchantment of the world around you with wide-eyed fascination. I hope I never lose that, no matter where I am. I will admit, that along with my skepticism, I was slightly smitten as I walked through midtown last night. But then again, darkeness forces you to keep your eyes wide open...

Today as I dodged the mystery drips in the subway, I ached for trees. That's part of why I had to come home and go running. To be among the trees. It was one of those archetypal east-coast summer days in New York today. White, hazy sky, with a constant threat of storm, and air so wet you wonder if it is raining. It's been a long time since I've had an east coast summer. And this may be my last for a while.

-Mazzy Star-