Easter

We had a wonderful Easter!  Clara and I stayed home from church (there is a measles outbreak in our neighborhood, it's SUPER contagious, and babies don't get their first immunization until they are 12-15 months) but it was still a lovely day.  The Easter Bunny came and brought some fun things for Clara.  We took a few photos in the sunshine by our newly blossoming tulips and spent the afternoon enjoying a wonderful meal at Spencer's parents house.

 

 

It's interesting how holidays are more fun and even more meaningful as our family grows.  Of course it's fun to start more traditions, but this year it also felt more significant than ever to reflect on the atonement and resurrection in a new light.  I've always thought of Easter as being most significant to those who have experienced tragic loss.  No doubt, the knowledge that death is not the end brings great comfort to anyone who has lost a loved one.  This year Christ's resurrection has become more personally relevant to me as my family has grown and my life continues to fill with people I love.  I have a wonderful husband and darling daughter that mean so much to me.  I guess I have realized that even more than loss, love makes the resurrection meaningful. It is such a blessing to know that because of the Savior our little family can be together forever.  No matter what.

Just Because

Part of Your History #5

One year ago today, I stood with disbelief and blurry tear-filled eyes as I stared down at the test in my hands. A single word on its tiny digital screen changed everything: PREGNANT.

Hannah - "For This Child I Prayed" by Elspeth Young

Our journey to have baby #1 did not happen as quickly or as easily as I thought or hoped it would. When Spencer and I first got married, we determined when we thought we wanted to have our first baby and each one after that. But clearly we should have known better than to think that we could plan things out and have them happen exactly as we hoped and anticipated. For months we tried and (I) underwent tests, medications, and medical procedures to try to help us have a child. During that time I mostly was able to remain positive about things and felt strongly that despite our roadblocks, children would still come into our family -- it was just a matter of how and when. Spencer and I prayed daily and fasted on several occasions that we would be blessed with children.

Although the period of longing for a baby now seems like a distant, blurry memory, I remember one day quite clearly. It was a Sunday and I was teaching the Sunday School lesson on Abraham and Isaac. A large part of the lesson focused on Abraham and Sarah, and the years that they waited for a blessing of their own child. They came up with their own ideas -- on several occasions -- of how this child would come into their family, doubting that it could happen on its own without their creative intervention. Eventually Isaac was born to his parents in their old age. I wondered why the Lord told them about this son so far in advance of his coming. Was it to prepare them? To test their faith? Their patience? Perhaps it was for all of these reasons.  But there was another important lesson here too -- they had to wait so they could truly see the Lord's hand in their life. What could otherwise have been a rather commonplace event took years for them to accomplish.

It's certainly not an everyday event for anyone to have a child, but in the midst of bearing what seemed to be one of life's heavier crosses, I became grateful for the chance to really involve the Lord in the process.  The times that we have to truly wait on the Lord after doing all that we can do are when we can often feel the most desperate.  But they are also the times when we can see the most clearly that He is over all - mindful of our most basic needs and our deepest desires.  God is in His heaven and miracles abound; sometimes it just takes some desperation -- and patience -- to see them.

Old Enough to Want to Know You Better

Earlier today I was reading an old gchat conversation between my sister and I, where we were discussing what to name the baby she was pregnant with at the time.  The babe was born and named Olivia Grace.  Reading the old conversation made me curious about the first time I had thought of the name Clara.

Our baby girl was named after Spencer's grandma, Clara Lucile Worthen Cameron.  I remember that Spencer and I discussed it as a name we liked even while we were dating (how bold of us to discuss baby names when we weren't even engaged!) and we always liked the idea of having a Clara and a Charlie.  But did I like the name before that?  Maybe my gmail history would provide some clues....

I searched 'Clara' in my gmail account and found my way back to the very first mention of it: a song I had forwarded to a friend on July 18, 2006.  A song named Clara!  A song I had once loved, but since forgotten, in the haze of my comparatively music-less life.  How could I have forgotten a discovery such as this?  Or the fact that singing this song to me, apparently, was a way to my heart as recently as 2007?  Without further ado, I bring you Bart Davenport singing Clara (live! on a rooftop!).  I'm happy that my baby has a cool song of her very own.

Adventures in Cloth

This whole post is about cloth diapers - just fair warning.

Last Friday our cloth diaper trial from Jillian's Drawers arrived.

Wait, what?  You didn't know I was a hippie tree-hugging crazy?  Actually, I'm not.  Turns out cloth diapers have come a long way since the last time you probably heard anything about them.  Now they are super cute and very easy to use.  I honestly never would have even thought about cloth diapers until I read about them (on a blog by people I otherwise consider normal) while pregnant that made me curious.  Then of course I started researching things and discovered that it might be a viable option for our family.  Pro-cloth diapering websites make all kinds of claims about how wonderful they are.  Some of these things are true, some are a little exaggerated.  But for me, the real pros outweighed the cons enough to at least give them a try.

Here are some things I read about cloth diapers before using them, along with how I really feel:


1. Cloth diapers are just as easy as disposables
Let's be honest.  What could be easier than just throwing away a dirty diaper?  However, I do think that cloth diapers are probably easier than you think.  Cloth diapers are now designed just like disposables (stretch tabs, elastic around the legs and back, velcro or snap closures, etc) so they are just as easy to change.  But there is a *little* extra work involved because you do have to wash them.  But so far that hasn't been discouraging - just another load of laundry every few days.

2. Cloth diapers can save you thousands of dollars
Thousands, really?  It sounded like a lot to me too.  I didn't expect to ever spend thousands on diapers, so I didn't know I could save thousands.  If you buy diapers at a regular price at the grocery store, then you are crazy.  They are so expensive.  But I think that most moms are smart and use coupons, shop at Costco or use Amazon Mom.  You can find significant savings there. But you'll still save a lot of money using cloth diapers instead.  Using disposables (from amazon or Costco), I figure the average baby's diapers would cost about $40 a month.  That's $480 a year and $1,200 for 2.5 years (hopeful potty-training age!).  If it takes your kid a little longer to catch on to using the bathroom you could be talking about more than $1400.  And that's just for one baby.  You want 3-4 kids, you're talking about $5,000+ just for diapers.  And that doesn't include wipes, rash cream or any special bags for whatever fancy diaper pail you are using.  Cloth diapers run the gamut - there are super economical choices and super high-end choices.  But honestly, you can cloth diaper a baby from 10 lbs to potty training for anywhere between $150 (for the more economical options) and $450 (for the nicer high end fancy diapers).  And lots of diapers will last for more than one child.  Of course, you will use a little more water and electricity washing and drying them 2-3 times a week, but I still don't think your costs in those areas will add up enough to NOT save you money.  When I realized all of this, it became my main motivation for exploring cloth diapers.  Not that we can't afford to use disposables, but why throw our money away?  If we ended up liking cloth diapers, it could be a great way to save a little more money for our kids to go to college or have a fun family trip or buy something cool for the house.

3. Cloth diapers are better for the environment
Blah, blah, blah.  It depends on what you read and who you talk to.  Disposables fill the landfills, cloth uses more water.  In the end, this has very little to do with my reasons and I am not an environmental expert so I can't really tell you which has a more adverse effect.

4. Cloth diapers are more gentle on your baby's skin
Oh my goodness!  These diapers are seriously so soft and cushy.  Love.  One of the funny things I read while researching things was, "think about it - would you rather have cloth underwear or paper underwear?"  It made me laugh.  But seriously, these diapers are so soft.  Also, while I was pregnant a huge news story came out about Pampers Dry Max diapers giving babies chemical burns.  Yikes!  That said, Clara has used a lot of Pampers for the first 12 weeks and never had more than a tiny bit of redness. I do like the idea of putting soft cloth against my baby rather than strange gel-beading chemicals.

There are lots of other claims that I don't have enough experience with to form an opinion, but if we stick with cloth for good I hope they are true!  Here are a few: Cloth diapers leak less than disposables, cloth diapers minimize diaper rash, cloth diapered babies potty train sooner.

Ok, so lots of good things about cloth diapers, right?  I was pretty excited when we got our trial pack (they send you one each of the most popular brands - brand new - you use them for 21 days like they are your own (including washing and drying them) and then send them back.  It costs $10).  There are so many fun colors and patterns and the interior fabrics are so super soft.  The verdict?  I really like them so far.  Cleaning them is not much of a sacrifice - I already do laundry all the time - and I think they are super cute.

The only thing I don't love about them right now is the extra bulk.  I'm told this gets better as babies get bigger.  I'm sure when it's summer time and Clara's running around in nothing but a diaper, she'll have the cutest little fluffy bum on the block.  But with onesies, pants, or rompers on right now, she's definitely got some less than flattering extra bulk going on.  But really, she's a baby.  Who cares, right?

Ok, seriously.  That was much longer than I thought it would be.  If you want to know more, I've researched this topic to death.  I'm sure I could answer your questions.

Clara's Blessing

March 20th was the first day of spring.  Our daffodils finally peeked out from their eager buds, a fresh blanket of snow coated the earth, and our sweet baby girl received her first special blessing from her father.

Before Clara was born, I worked on several fun sewing projects for her, but I knew that one of the most special would be made after her arrival.  Even though there are lots of beautiful christening gowns out there, I really wanted to make Clara's dress.  I searched for the most basic dress pattern I could find and then altered it to get exactly what I wanted.  Super long and lacy is traditional, but not really my style.  I didn't want a lot of embellishment or extra length; I didn't want her to get lost in a cloud of a dress. :) My wish list included three things: beautiful fabric, slightly puffed sleeves, and pin tucks.  With my mom's help, we achieved all three.

Of course, the event itself was certainly more special than the dress she wore.  Spencer gave Clara a sweet and perfect blessing.

After the blessing, we gathered in our home for brunch with all of our great family that came for the special day.  Clara was pretty tuckered out and needed a nap right away.  I was a little sad that she couldn't spend more time with her adoring fans (or get photos with them!).  We had lots of delicious and beautiful food and it was so nice to have our house full of people we love.

When the Bough Breaks

Front porch light, check.  Breezeway lights, check.  Back door light, check.  Locks -- check, check, check.  I looked out the window as heavy snow fell Monday night and huge flakes swirled fast and furious, piling on the ground.  Then, after checking on Clara, I headed to bed.

Spencer was out of town for the week, making it a little more unsettling than usual when I heard strange noises outside during Clara's 3 am feeding.  I wondered if there was someone in the backyard, but the last thing I wanted to do was look and find out.  Not wanting to scare myself, I chalked it up to icicles falling off the gutters and headed back to bed when Clara was done.

Morning came with blue skies and sunshine and 15 plus inches of snow on the ground.  I headed out to shovel and immediately noticed that something wasn't right.  Sure enough, our two large backyard trees had each broken under the weight of the snow. 

It was just too much for them to bear. 

I was nervous for the large branch resting on the house right over the dining room, and heartbroken at the thought of losing these trees - even if it were just a branch at a time.  It might sound strange, but these trees were part of what I loved about this house.  They each had a branch for a swing and one seemed like it would be a perfect treehouse tree someday.

Thankfully my dad came over after work with his chain saw and relieved the trees of their sagging limbs, and our home of any potential danger.  So far we haven't realized any significant damage from the incident, other than to the trees themselves.  Needless to say, I am ready for spring.

Two Months.

Last Thursday Clara turned two months old!  We celebrated by going to the doctor on Friday for a check up and some shots.  I really want to get a photo of her on the baby scale at the doctor's office, because she just chills out there when I lay her down and it's so cute, but I don't want the doctors or nurses to think I'm crazy/irresponsible.

We have a great pediatrician and nurse whom I love, and Clara warms right up to them as well.  Plus, they know just what to say to a mom, "Oh, she is so beautiful!" or "What a good baby!" -- you know, things like that (that are all true).  I love going to the doctor to see how much she has grown, but it was very hard to watch her get those shots.  She drank the rotavirus vaccine like it was koolaid - the nurse commented that she'd never seen a 2 month old take it without a fuss.  Then came the shots - three of them!  Thankfully the nurse was FAST, but of course Clara started crying as soon as the first needle went in.  She cried for a few minutes, then calmed down after we snuggled for a while, and fell asleep in her car seat on our way out.  She slept for almost four hours!!

Her personality is really starting to emerge and she has so many funny and cute expressions.  She's cooing and smiling so much and is just such a happy baby.  I've noticed in the past few days that she can get a little impatient at times - like when she's hungry - but it could just be some residual fussiness from her shots.  Plus, who can complain when she's slept for 7.5-8 hours straight the past two nights?

We got all of her measurements and stats from the doctor and I was a little surprised.  I knew she wasn't getting super chunky, but I thought for sure she was getting taller/longer.  She weighed in at 10 lbs 10.5 oz (45th percentile) and measured 21.6 inches (20th percentile).  Looks like we have a petite little girl -- but I know things can change fast too!  Thankfully her head circumference is average, which makes me wonder about some of the headbands we have that are so tiny...maybe we'll keep them for dolls?

8 weeks!

Wow, it's hard to believe that Clara has been with us for eight weeks.  It's one of those things -- it's gone so fast, but at the same time it's hard to imagine life without her!  She is such a good and happy baby.  We love her so much and feel so blessed to have her in our family.

I have been trying to stay on top of all of the photos we take of her.  With all things digital we end up taking hundreds (if not thousands) of photos and videos of her, so it's quite the task to make sure they all get put on the computer, backed up, and sorted.  I try to flag favorites every week or so, in hopes that the task of printing them and eventually making some sort of baby book won't be too overwhelming.

Here is one of my favorite videos of her from when we were still in the hospital.  It's actually Christmas and she is one day old.  Watch for the little chin quiver after the first hiccup.  It completely melts my heart.

And the Mother of the Year Award Goes To...

Some lessons you learn the hard way.  At least now I'll never forget to take her headband off before another nap.

Learning to Snap

We're hoping she gets it down by the time she hits 2 months.

Then we'll move on to tying her own shoes.

Can You Find the Baby?

Clara Clara Bo Bera

I think it is inevitable that once you have children your blog begins to focus more on them.  Especially if you haven't left the house in three weeks except for a few trips to the pediatrician... It's hard with a winter baby to feel like you can go anywhere without exposing your child to a cold or flu that could land them in the hospital.  In fact, with all the rampant germs and RSV swirling around this time of year, our pediatrician recommended keeping our little one home from church for 3-4 months.  Months!  I was pretty surprised. Anyway, all of this is my way of saying you can expect to see a lot more photos of Clara on here than anything else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm working on a photo project of Clara which will be updated weekly.  You can check it out here.  Also, our over-achieving sweetheart rolled over yesterday (at just one day shy of three weeks old).

Twas Two Nights Before Christmas (or Twas the Night Before Clara)

Our sweet baby girl is one week old today!  I can hardly believe all that has happened in the past week - it has been a blur and a whirlwind, but life is sweet and wonderful.  We couldn't be more happy or feel more blessed.

I wrote this little (ok, long) poem to tell Clara's birth story.  There are definitely some details I left out -- like the fact that even after 24 hours of building contractions, there was never a true "this is it" moment.  At one point in the evening, a contraction hurt so much it made me cry (I had three of those throughout the day) and I told Spencer we should get ready to go, but I still wasn't super sure.  I was never really confident that I was progressing, or that we needed to go to the hospital.  Even after we arrived at the hospital, we sat in the car for several minutes as I debated if we really needed to go in (I really didn't want to get sent home).  I also didn't mention that after we packed up the car, we delivered Christmas cookies to neighbors on the way to the hospital.  There was no way that the six dozen cookies I made at nine months pregnant were going to go to waste, even if it meant I had to sit in the car through some pretty intense contractions while Spencer delivered them to our neighbors.  I will write a more traditional birth story out at some point which may or may not show up here.  But for now, please enjoy!


Twas two nights before Christmas, and all through the house
Eagerness built, as I called for my spouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
But the space neath tree empty; no presents found there

"Bring your iPhone" I yelped in a weary worn struggle,
Then fell in a chair; the cat wanting to snuggle
In moments he came; my husband appeared
And handed phone over as he quietly cheered

Finding the app, installed days before
"contraction counter" timed as I slumped on the floor
Then rising in pain between a scream and a cry
I heaved and wrenched, then melted to sigh

Near 24 hours had passed of labor early yet true,

As contractions inched closer and intensity grew

On birth ball, on bed, on foot and in tub,
On trying things naturally, aye there's the rub

Could this be the night of the birth of our first?

Another contraction; one of the worst
"This is it," I managed as I fell in a sag,
"Grab the computer, the iPod, the camera, and bag"

Then off to the hospital we drove in a dash
The fog thick and heavy as we avoided a crash
At arrival and check-in contractions slowed to a halt
"They'll think I'm a fool, and not worth my salt" 

Soon we were admitted, to Triage Room three,

As monitors checked my veracity

One quick check and the nurse soon was saying,

"Oh look at your progress! You're a five and you're staying!"

Admitted, at once the phone calls began,

"We're here, and we're having her - at least that's the plan!"

Soon grandmas and grandpas and siblings arrived

So much excitement, and sleep soon deprived

"This isn't so bad" was my constant refrain

But the nurses encouraged an epidural just the same

When news of a doc breaking water soon came

I consented and ne'er felt a twinge of shame

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear

The anesthesiologist and all of his gear
A couple of pricks and the numbness set in
The pain mostly gone, my face in a grin

When all of a sudden a warmth filled the bed,

My body beat doc to it, and broke my own water instead

Another quick check and I was in heaven

"You go girl," said the nurse, "hon, you're a seven!"

As deep pressure mounted, I gave a shout of hooray!

I'd meet my sweet girl soon; time to push, no delay!
Then chin to chest and count to ten,
Once, and twice, again and again

I curled around baby each time with great strain

As I pushed and I tried to composure maintain

Three hours of pushing only found the babe stuck

Neath a bone in my pelvis, and each push brought no luck

Finally my doctor was called to come in

At four in the morning - a different tone set in

"This baby's not coming," his mood very sober

"It's the knife or the vacuum - you think it over"

In moments he returned; our decision was clear:

Avoid surgery at all costs and get the babe safely here

Three more long pushes as doc pulled with his might

This baby would come, but not without fight

With one final push, then a sweet little cry,

Tears swirled down cheeks of all standing by,

A bundle of love gently placed on my chest,
My heart filled with joy -- this was the best!

Her eyes -- how they twinkled! Her dimples how merry!

Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!
Her head full of dark, soft feathery hair

Her eyes wide and happy, awake and aware

Spencer and I just basked in the bliss

As we held our sweet baby and gave her a kiss!
We're so in love; a family of three!
And that is how Clara Jane Evans came to be

Clara Jane Evans

12.24.10 - 4:14 am

7 pounds 8 ounces - 19.5 inches

Randoms

Remember how I'm due to have a baby on Christmas Day?  And how I'm hoping that she comes before Christmas?  Yeah, still hoping.  Especially since my tentative induction date is set for January 1, 2011.  And even though 1.1.11 would be a super cool birthday, I'd love to have the baby this year.  Please send any labor-inducing vibes my way.

Also, I need some snow boots.  We were at REI the other night and I spotted these Sorel Tivoli's - so cute!  I think I'm in love.

 

Also, I'm curious what everyone is doing for neighbor gifts this year.  I think it's fun to do something a little different - like last years pico de gallo and chips, but this year I'm debating whether or not I have the energy to do anything at all.  At the same time, I know that it's just the kind of distraction I need at this point, so send your super easy ideas my way.