Tuesday, May 30, 2006


Musical Discovery of the Day: Bart Davenport. Bossa Nova meets British Folk meets 70's Rock. Does it get any better?

Too bad he's not coming to Portland or New York anytime soon.

I love pandora.

-Bart Davenport-

Monday, May 29, 2006

Gone For Good

The following is a list of artists I would have loved to have seen, but missed, at the Sasquatch Music Festival:

Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals

The Flaming Lips

The Shins

Iron & Wine

Sufjan Stevens


Architecture In Helsinki

Matt Costa

Korby Lenker

And that was just on Saturday! Even as I post, I kick myself for what I missed...

-The Shins-

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Doors Lead to Questions

Sometimes I wonder if this phase of life so riddled with decisions will ever slow down. There is so much uncertainty about life right now (particularly mine, it seems) and I don't know quite what to think of it - except that it is both frustrating and fascinating.
In two weeks I'll be in New York! It will be yet another opportunity to start over, try something new, meet new people, try new things, and learn more about all of it. Sounds exciting, huh? I am really looking forward to it. What I am not looking forward to is all of the unknown that this brings to the table - not just New York, but the whole shebang of life.

I feel like I want to leave Portland with a job offer, if possible. Doesn't that seem like the best thing to do? But at the same time I don't know what could possibly happen in New York! Maybe I'll fall in love with the city, or with my job, or (heaven forbid) the man of my dreams. And then will I really want an obligation to come back to Portland -- for as wonderful and rainy and full of memories as it is? Maybe I should just let Portland be that - a wonderful and rainy memory... Or maybe not.

It just seemed like too much of everything fell into place too perfectly last summer to have been a coincidence. And perhaps it served its own purpose... One that doesn't or won't really extend into the future.Maybe I'm not supposed to end up in Portland or New York. Maybe I'm supposed to end up in Seattle or Salt Lake or... Sri Lanka. How should I know?

Any thoughts?

-The Appleseed Cast-

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Just A Ride

Today I fell in love. It was complete serendipity! On an unusual path to work this morning I saw it for the first time - a 1974 BMW 2002. It was for sale and calling my name. It was love at first sight. I quickly programmed the owners phone number into my cell and off I went to work! It was like meeting a cute guy for the first time - I couldn't stop thinking about this car. It's boxy. It's sporty. It's bright orange. It must be mine! After work I met with the owner and went for a test drive (although the current owner had to do the driving since I don't know how to drive stick). Since I found my little gem of a car, I have tried to think rationally about the real logistics of buying this car right now. Here's what I've come up with:

Reasons I Should Buy the Car:
  • It's adorable
  • The factory rebuilt engine only has 28,000 miles
  • Someone else put $23,000 into restoring it
  • It has a CD player
  • It's vintage and won't lose value
  • It's so me!
  • I'm selling my other car and will need to buy a new one soon
Reasons That May Discourage Me from Buying the Car:
  • I don't really have the money right now
  • I'm moving to Manhattan in two weeks
  • I don't even know if I'll end up in Portland again
  • It is old and doesn't have airbags, A/C, etc.
  • It has a manual transmission that I don't know how to use (yet)

Isn't She Lovely

If you know me at all, you'll realize immediately that I am only posting this out of humor.

Today has been so strange. When I drove into Portland this morning, the lot I usually park in was full, so I was forced to drive to another one several blocks away and a few dollars more expensive. I parked and began my walk towards work, weaving my way through the unfamiliar streets of that side of the Pearl. I came to an intersection and paused before I crossed the street only to have a man that was driving the same direction stop and roll down his passenger side window. He mumbled something out the window and I leaned down as he caught my attention, ready to do my best to give directions or needed information, to which he said, "You're gorgeous. You have a gorgeous figure." I glanced around in shock - was he talking to me? He was! Who was this man? Ok, so I'm gorgeous - but who is he to tell me? Honestly, who are these people? I couldn't stop laughing.

-Stevie Wonder-

Monday, May 22, 2006


Sometimes I wonder how many of us really know the meaning of the word intern. Especially those of us who volunteer to be interns - not just once, not twice, but three times.

According to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, intern means detain, confine, deprive of freedom; take into confinement.

Welcome to my life.


Friday, May 19, 2006

Hello Lonely

It's Friday and I have hit a wall. My busy-ness at work has waned and I just finished my last assignment with a few hours still left in the day. No one has the energy at this point in the week to think up a new project for me to work on. I guess I should be ok with that. I'll just blog away!

It's raining today. I went outside for lunch, off to my little park on 8th Avenue but I couldn't sit out there for long. It was just a little too soggy for me. I didn't have an umbrella - but isn't that what the whole Northwest experience is about -- becoming one with the rain?

A dog just walked into my cubicle.

Speaking of creatures, I almost stepped on a snake when I was running with Russ the other night. On the foresty streets of Portland, it's not unusual to have branches, sticks, and dirt spilling over onto the street. It was dusk and a little bit difficult to see anyway. But when what I assumed to be a stick startled and slithered as I ran by, I discovered it to be slightly more than a dead tree part.

It has been kind of a lonely week out here in Portland. I am in such a transient time of life right now. I don't quite have a home. And it is difficult to find motivation to make good friends when you know that you'll have to leave them in three weeks anyway. I've had to do that too many times before. I think I'm getting ready to settle down somewhere. At least for a year or two. Sometimes I just sit back and think, "What am I doing?" I'm in Oregon. I'm not making any money. And I have no idea where I'll be in three months. It's all good, though. Gain experience. Build the resume. Live in the moment. Drink it all in.

-Theory of a Deadman-

Thursday, May 18, 2006

I Miss You Like I Miss You

I'm having one of those hard moments.

But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assured of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to airy thinness beat.
-John Donne-

Why do I still miss him?

-Chad VanGaalen-

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Nothing As It Seems

Yes - I'm blogging from work. So shoot me. It's not like they are paying me anything. But I can say that they are keeping me busy and I am continuing to enjoy my time here. Last night I had this huge realization that in a few months I'll be in a real job and there's no guarantee that I'll love it. Wouldn't that just be awful, to hate going to work every day? I've done it before, but there has always been light at the end of the tunnel. Now it seems that the only light ahead is an oncoming train. I really hope I don't hate my first job.

My roommate went out of town on Monday for the week. And I thought things were quiet before! Some of her friends actually came to the house from out of town and have been staying there to house hunt. But they have been busy and not spending too much time at the house, so I hardly see them. Needless to say, I am now convinced that I never want to live alone.

Maybe it's loneliness that has me looking forward to my plans for the evening. Or maybe it's more. Regardless, it's fun to think that I am almost giddy about something as simple as going running. Even if the only motive for my excitement is only the potential of good company.

-Pearl Jam-

Sunday, May 14, 2006

On the Transmigration of Souls

Contrary to popular belief, the most fascinating thing about the Oregon Symphony tonight was not Mozart's Requiem. It was John Adams' stirring September 11th tribute, On the Transmigration of Souls. It was a haunting work, and if you really paid attention you could recall some of the things you felt as you watched the news on that tragic day.

-John Adams-

Saturday, May 13, 2006

One Week

I've had an entire week of work at an ad agency and I can easily say that it's been my best work experience so far. I know - I'm shocked, too! For the first time in my life, I'm not getting paid to work eight hours a day and who knows, maybe that's what makes it so chill and rewarding at the same time. Because I don't have to be there. Not for credit. Not for money. Just to soak it all in and try to learn something. For all of the trash talk about agency work, it's exactly what I expected (and hoped) it would be.

Let's start with the building:

Euro RSCG 4D is in the Pearl District of Portland, taking up the 4th and 5th floors of the Pearl Building. It's an old brick structure that has that wonderfully artsy feel of an unfinished studio. The brick walls and wood floors and light, airy atmosphere are juxtaposed with the flashing neon lights, awards, sculptures, paintings, and advertisements that provide decoration and feed creative thought.

And the people:

I was pleasantly surprised to find on day one that I have many colleagues with a common alma mater. We could seriously stand and sing the fight song at a staff meeting and do it justice. Although I'm not sure the many grads of the U would let us get away with it. The people are friendly, funny, down-to-earth, and very hard workers.

And the work:

Can I just say it's really rewarding to actually use something that I learned in school. Suddenly the thousands of dollars that I poured into college tuition have become meaningful outside of the academic realm! But that's the beautiful thing about it... I'm not just using what I know, but I'm learning a lot, too. I am given assignments that are doable, but still help me grow. Currently I'm working on three accounts: Adobe, Barclays Global Investors, and the Allstate Foundation.

Aside from work, Portland has been a great place to live. As I was driving home from work on Thursday, I saw a pink Cadillac. And then when I went to Kinkos, the guy behind the counter was wearing more makeup that I ever have in my life. I wonder what it feels like to put mascara on as a man. Is it bad that I find that sort of thing slightly entertaining?

Among other observations:
When I was coming home on the Max a few days ago, a couple got on the train and I couldn't help but watch them. They were in their late thirties and there was something about them that told me that they had been together for a long time; they were obviously married. But at the same time there was this aura surrounding them... like they had just met and fallen in love over the past few days. They seemed so free, so unrestrained, and so caught up in each other but with a common enthrallment for everything around them and the possibilities ahead. Everything about them screamed of their mutual fascination. It's amazing what you can perceive just by watching people for a few scattered moments.

-Barenaked Ladies-

Friday, May 12, 2006

Over and Over

I have begun to wonder if my life is starting to repeat itself in four-year cycles. Honestly. Five days ago I could have sworn I was riding the Tube in London when I was really just taking the Max home from the airport. And today when I went to a park for lunch, it felt exactly like Paris on the day I went to the Monet museum alone in my introspective reverie-of-just-absorbing-Paris-by-myself moment. But seriously, everything was the same (minus the crepe I treated myself to in Paris) -- the air, the floating conversations, the park benches, the cool winds pushing through the trees. Maybe Portland just has a European feel this time of year.

I sat down and watched a pro bocce player practice today while I inhaled my peanut butter and jam sandwich. I don't think I've ever seen someone play bocce before and maybe its European flavor is what helped me feel so much like I was in another place and time. I was surprised when a man that the bocce player was talking to spotted me from across the courtyard and said, "I know you." He did, as it turns out. He's a member of my bishopric in my new ward. So we sat together on the wooden planks that line the bocce pits and ate our peanut butter and jam sandwiches together. It's always nice to see a familiar face.

So, as I've been thinking about this four-year cycle of my life it's not too disappinting when I reflect on the European adventures of 2002. But then I think ahead and I wonder if it will really be three and a half years before I fall in love again.

-Erin Bode-

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Virginia Moon

I'm back in Virginia. I got here two days ago and I can see that my time here is going to be way too short. I've mostly been running errands so far -- tying up loose little ends and getting things done before I venture away from this place forever.

About twenty minutes after I landed on Tuesday, Mimsi and I headed to Jammin' Java for a great little show. As the candlelight flickered from our front row table, I sat and absorbed the genius of Landon Pigg, Ki Theory and Lucas Reynolds. I came to see Lucas (of Blue Merle) but came away with huge apreciation for Landon's sound. I especially connected with some of his lyrics; perhaps some of his titles will be enough to say why: "Sailed On," and "Can't Let Go" among my favorites.

Last night was a graduation/birthday celebration at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. Wow - that honestly has got to be the best steak I've ever had. I would highly recommend it to anyone who is willing to spend $200 on dinner for three people.

I just got my haircut. I really needed a haircut and it is always such trauma to actually get to the salon and get it done. I don't know why I feel such an attachment to my locks... perhaps it is only a reflection of the over-attachment I feel for a lot of things.

Today is shopping day. My wardrobe needs a little spicing up for New York. Leesburg Outlets, here I come!

-Foo Fighters-

Monday, May 01, 2006

Bad Diary Days

I finally arrived in Portland on Saturday night. I say finally as though it felt like it took forever, when in reality it seems like I left this place yesterday. The past two weeks have been such a whirlwind anyway that I haven't had a chance to breathe, let alone absorb the fact that I'm in entirely new circumstances and a new phase of life. I still don't comprehend it. Speaking of which, there's a lot that I don't currently comprehend. There is a lot that I probably never will... but my question is, how can I convince myself to stop searching for answers when sometimes there just aren't any. Or at least none that will satisfy my craving for understanding. In the 45 hours that I've been here, I've already been thrown for a few loops and I'm sure there are more to come. I guess in some ways I asked for it. I've been learning this about myself. I have a strange temptation to always pour salt in my own wounds.

Where can I begin? Well, really there's only one thing that made last night sleepless and there are countless things to be thankful for, so let's start with those. Oregon is beautiful as ever - green-green-green, blue skies and sun-sun-sunshine! I went to visit some co-workers at Nike this afternoon and I felt like I was at home. The smells, the stairs, the whole scene was just so familiar. I miss it. And this morning I went up to Tualatin Hills Nature Park for a nice run. I love to just get lost in a new set of trails. I got some photos developed and there is a great one of Kendrick and me in Moab. Oh, and I graduated a few days ago! It's all about the little things.

-Pedro the Lion-
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